ze world is my oyster!

Jeez....

2008-09-18T00:47:00.002+05:30

By far one of the lamest advice articles I have read on a How-To site in a really long time. Here goes... (nasty/ sarcastic comments in brackets are my own)

How to Keep a Girl Forever

If you want to know how to keep a girl in your heart forever and ever and keep her from leaving you. Here is how!

Steps
Hug your girl as much as possible and let her pull away. She might think
you don't love her! (oh my god he pulled away b4 me, he doesnt love me .... :-( waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.......... )

Carry her books and bags for her. She will give you a kiss or hug as a reward!
(ya sure! obviously this was written by some school kid)

Call her once in a while to keep her thinking about you. Just tell her you really love her
over the phone! (yes, over the phone, she will kill u if u have the balls to say it in person! muahahahaha)

Whisper things in her ear such as: compliments, "I love you", "Did you know...", "Can I just tell you how...". (like dude, where's the rest of the dialogue?)

Kiss her in front of your friends; you don't want her to think you are hiding her from them!
(try at your own risk)

Buy her something once in a while. Just something small like: a teddy, bracelet, lollipop, chocolates, rose! (lollipop? what are we? four?)

When she is cold, give her your T-shirt or jacket. Also, you should leave a T-shirt
at her house and tell her it's hers. (yes! all girls want a guy's tshirt which they can't wear,
its like money in the bank)

Take her out to do things with you. Like go to the beach, mall, friends house, park, fair, go karts, paintball! (wow, basically it means take her everywhere except the loo)

Be a romantic! Take her out for long walks, dinners and later on kiss her on the neck as you give her a necklace. (phhh)

ALWAYS KISS HER! Not every minute, but just whenever a class finishes or at a friend's house.
(what can i say, i like the explanation offered - not every minute... duh ... isnt that
obvious nutcase. this also re-instates my previous comment - it is written by a school kid)

Warnings

Don't be too clingy. (finally some sanity)
Don't hug her friends or even your female friends. (ummm, really?)
Don't leave her out of things. She will get MAD. (depends... maybe if u r dating a psycho)

Friendship & News

2008-09-05T23:04:00.001+05:30

Just came across something I wrote at 16, okay 17:

How good a friendship is does not depend on the years spent together , but on
the intensity of love , trust , understanding and comfort.

Nothing lasts forever , friends become people , people become friends , and life
goes on . People who were once friends , turn to casual aquantainces .
Friendship and love are two things you never need to look for , you just discover
them at most unlikely places and times , they just happen.

I hate newspapers and all the darned news networks , I like to believe that it's a
beautiful life and it's worth living , that it's a beautiful world out there , waiting
to be explored , watching news and the things that happen around us , breaks
my illusion . We could sure do with some peace on this planet.

A Day at RML

2008-08-15T13:30:00.010+05:30

So today India celebrates it's 61st independence day. And why not? We have come a long way and the changes are everywhere to be seen. But there are still miles to go. This is especially applicable to public healthcare facilities in hospitals such as Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital in the capital. Sure it's free and all, but all processes are primarily governed by obscure paperwork that causes a lot of delay. Add to it the huge bulk of population, scarce
doctors and outdated infrastructure and you have chaos!

What makes it so chaotic? There are over 150 patients each day for each specialty who examine patients over a course of 4-5 hours. There are only around 4 docs for each department. Do the math.

Here, a few candid pictures to unfold the real deal...

Marsh and stagnant water on the premises - a hotbed for malaria. Hey don't you go to the hospital to get RID of diseases?

Once you register after struggling through a long queue and take
a consultation number, this is where you wait. I like to call this
the outer waiting chamber/ corridor.

The open air canteen of sorts. People kill time here as they wait for their turn. Some even leave the hospital to run errands in the meantime.

While others mingle and bitch about the hospital procedures.

Finally lady luck smiles and you feel closer to your destination
as an attendant yells out for a set of numbers. Ab dilli durr nahi, you feel.
You find yourself in the inner waiting chamber only to enjoy your
90 seconds of fame with the doc as he/ she hurries through
your reports and symptoms.

Yes ma, your turn will come too. Sabr ka phal mitha hota hai!

An ailing old man on the brink of a doorway without any attendant.
The concept of ward boys is alien to the hospital. Your companion is the
one who manoeuvres your wheel chair/ stretcher. To get a wheel chair or
stretcher, you have to get a permission slip signed btw.

In stark contrast is the nursing home for higher officials.
Super clean, quiet and conducive to healing.

There are other things too, but you wouldn't like to see them. And I don't want to show you.

C-Grade Villiany!

2008-06-05T00:13:00.006+05:30

Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge 3 yaar, aap, main, aur google talk. Lol. Me and panjak ended up talking crap and
what resulted was a lot of laughs! Read on...

pankajunk:
e budde!!!! jo wahan daag kaun saaf karega!! tera baap??? raps him with his walking stick

me:
ae budhiya, lagta hai mera hunter pada nahi tujhe bade din se, chal bageeche ki ghaas kaat

pankajunk:
e budiya!!! aaj fir gobi khilayegi!!! (throws garam garam gobi at buddis face)

arre maine lawn mower use karne ko kaha kya??? apne muh se kaat!! aur use khaa!!!

aur jab ana aur neha milne ayenge.....ana = ye bichare budda buddi kaun hain? hansa = ye mere naukar hain

budda = magar bahu....SLAPPPPPP shuts him up

me:
and exit buddha buddhi
and me - muhahahaha bol ana kaise aana hua
chal kitty party shuru kare
tu patte kaat main breezer nikalti hu

pankajunk:
mera pehla daaw meri saas ka mangalsutra
mera doosra daaw mere sasur ka pension account

and they get chatty....hansa = yaar ana mera dil vo nayi chevrolet ki gaadi lene ka hai..magar paise nahi hain
hansa = tujhe pata hai mere sasur ke upar life insurance policy hai....aur haadse to hote rehte hain....

me:
ana - main ek aadmi ko janti hu jo ye kaam saste mein kar dega
aarti - arre saste mein kya ye to free mein ho sakta hai

pankajunk:
hansa = mujhe kisi aadmi vaadmi ki zaroorat nahi hai
hee hee
aarti = maine kerisone oil use kiya tha....bada effective hai
cheekhen sun ke extra maza aata hai

me:
hansa - bas mere pati ko kuch nahi pata chalna chahiye

pankajunk:
ana - vo to lallu hai

me:
nahi to teesri shaadi karni padegi
neha - saare mard lallu hote hain
ab mere patiko hi dekh lo

pankajunk:
ana - yaa, can u call me when u murder your saas sasur, jabse maine apne waalon ko maara hai i havent had that sort o fun yaa

me:
i have a feeling uwant 2 continue with the dialogues

pankajunk:
nah
bas ab dimag khali ho gya

me:
lol
itne mein hi

pankajunk:
my villany is exhausted

me:
how will u sustain ur career as a dilogue writer for ghar ki lakshmi betiyan

pankajunk:
(i have a good mind to post this chat to my blog tho)

me:
me too
chal let's both do it

How Not To Tell a Joke

2008-04-17T00:28:00.005+05:30

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in ages... (and here I was, thinking that buying a lappie would actually make me more regular). Anyhow, now that my company is on a firing spree (they call it downsizing), here's a tribute to the man who lost his job yesterday. Unworldly wise and cynical, the man will be missed
for his weird ways.

Most of all, this is what we learned from him - how not to tell a joke:

Joker: Joke
Audience: Hahahaha
Joke: You got it, right?
Audience: Ya Ya!

Pause

Joker: Repeat Joke
Audience: :-I

Dead Man's Chest

2008-02-10T12:18:00.000+05:30

http://culturecomedy.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/01/dead-man-s-chest.html

The Effervescent Auto Wala

2008-01-24T22:23:00.000+05:30

Not only is it dilli ki sardi that knocks the daylights out of you, it's also the infamous dilli ka auto wala (referred to as AW). When in Delhi, without a car at your disposal, expect to meet one or all of these.

Specimen 1: Uh No!

Me - Auto khali hai bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge?
AW - Nahi

Specimen 2: Not Really

Me - Auto khali hai bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge?
AW - Rajouri mein kahan?
Me - Central Market ke paas..
AW - Nahi

Specimen 3: Map to My House

Me - Auto khali hai bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge?
AW - Rajouri mein kahan?
Me - Central Market ke paas..
AW - Ye kidhar padega
Me - (More route explantions)
AW - Nahi

Specimen 4: Great Expectations

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Kitne paise
AW - Sau rupye
Me - Akele chale jaao

Specimen 5: My Way or the Highway!

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Kitne paise
AW - Assi rupye
Me - 60 lagte hain bhaiya
AW - Chalo 75 de dena
Me - Meter se chalo
AW - Meter kharab hai madam

Specimen 6: Main Bus Banna Chahta Hu

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Nahi, vahan main nahi jaata
Me - Agar koi fixed route hai to bus ki tarah likhte kyun nahi ho bahar?

Specimen 7: Nocturnal Vibe

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Haan
Me - Kitne paise
AW - Do sau
Me - KYA?
AW - Bahut raat ho gayi hai
Me - Abhi 7 baje hain!
Auto - Nahi madam, do sau se kam nahi
Me - To abhi hi ghar chale jao, der karoge to sher aa jayega

Specimen 8: Detour!

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Nahi, Dhaula Kuan jaa sakta hu vahan mujhe kaam hai, aap vahan se doosra le lena.
Me - Uhh!

Specimen 9: Terms and Conditions

Me - Rajouri Garden chalenge bhaiya?
AW - Haanji chalenge. Baitho.
Me - Kitne paise?
AW - Pachaas rupye.
Me - Thik hai.
AW - Lekin main bidi piyunga raste mein, aur CNG bhi bharvwani hai.

Specimen 10: The Analyst

Me - Rajouri chalna hai?
AW - Mujhe rasta nahi pata
Me - Mujhe pata hai
AW - Kitna dete ho
Me - 50 rupye
AW - Ye to kam hai bada
Me - Aapko rasta pata hai kya.. Meter chalao
AW - Meter to purana wala laga hua hai
Me - !

100 Not Out!

2007-11-13T22:09:00.000+05:30

Centennial

The centennial post is finally here. And boy, have I been itching to write this one! For many weeks I pondered as to what this super special post should be about. I finally came to the conclusion that it had better be a medley. Like this blog has always been. It gives me a chance to talk to myself and express what nobody cares to listen to, or things I have trouble voicing. the blog also helps me
straighten things in my head while enjoying the joy of writing.

So in this post, now that I get to blog so less, are somethings that I had been wanting to blog about.

Me Holiday: Muchos Gracias

Thank God for creating such a lovely planet! After ten long years I saw a beach, and how! This trip, no matter how hasty and chaotic it may have been, was special for a lot of firsts.

The first time I travelled by air.
The first time I travelled in a First Class train compartment.
The first time I visited an island.
The first time I saw and went over a real bridge.

Traveling is such a pleasure. Air travel was great, I didn't get air sick and I saw some gorgeous clouds. Kinda makes one wonder as to how vast our world is and how we are but a speck. (I am a nice speck... hehehe). The aerial view of the Andaman Islands left me speechless, and left me asking for more. I would like to go there once again in my lifetime and explore more of the spectacular majesty.

The heaven we stayed in for most part of our Andaman trip was a place called Havelock Island (though getting there was no picnic, but it was worth it, plus the two Israeli guys who asked for help were hot). A quiet, serene and picture perfect island with waters the shades of blue and green. Such secluded beaches that make you feel like
the only person in the world and yet when you look back, there it is, your resort. So remote and secluded is the place that it takes 1.5 days for a newspaper to get there. So people rely on television a lot. Aah, the simple life! More than 1/3rd of the island is a reserved forest. And I could just go on and on and on about my favourite place for the moment, but I'll shut up.
Also, Cellular Jail in Port Blair or Kaala Paani jail as it is also known,
was amazing for the powerful sound and light show with voice overs
by Naseeruddin Shah. A must see for sure!

Kolkata was as chaotic as it gets, more so as it was Durga Puja time. Endless traffic jams and pollution were a nuisance. But I loved the Victoria Memorial, MP Birla Planetarium and the all the bridges I saw. A
special mention here about Science City, this place was
tons & tons of fun. The space theatre, hall of mirrors and what
not, made for a fun day out. We should have something so fun and
so mammoth in Delhi too :)

I came home with many regrets. I was unable to buy a Bengali sari (white with red border), I did not swim/ scuba dive, and did not see coral
reefs on a glass bottom boat.

Let's face it, the trip was too too too short! 7 days for 3 places just aint enough! But in my lifetime I wish to go there once again and for much longer
this time. Fursat se!

Am a Football!

Not only do I look like a football, my company treats me like one too. Yes, I have been shifted again! Back to the elevator-less building, away from my friends and my gorgeous crush :( Even though I now sit on the ground floor, its no fun as I end up climbing a lot of stairs everyday for something or the other. Most inconvenient!

I can Do it!

Without my TL and Project Coordinator, I can handle a team of 30+ people (some of whose names I don't know till now). Felt great to know that, and even though I was nervous and it got chaotic with everybody
seeking me out for instructions, I managed.

In your face TL! Ha! But seriously, it was a high of the
professional kind! :D

Must Fight Lizards...

Well here I am, to round things off with the bizarre topic - the perfect guy...

A wish list/ checklist/ of the PURRRFECT guy is a bizarre idea in itself. No one is perfect, especially no guy (hehehe),
we all know that it is foolish to make lists, but we still like to
enumerate our preferences just for the heck of it.
Though I have never really made a list, nor am I sure what should
go in it, I can give it a shot.

Should be adequately adventurous and spontaneous.
A good sense of humour is non negotiable.
Must be passionate.
Should be a balanced person.
Must want and provide space, has to have individuality.
Someone who is as comfortable seeing a masala flick as he is watching a waltz performance. As with it grooving to bhangra as humming ballads...
Non smoker, non doper and preferably non boozer/ social drinker.
Must read, even if he reads only magazines. Bottom line, reading habits should be beyond newspapers, textbooks, joke sms's and home delivery menus.
Financially secure.
Must drive, I am too accident prone to be behind the wheels.
Ego overload not appreciated. (man, this list is longer than I thought)
Must love movies and traveling and really wish to explore the world. Somebody who would want to go to the Arctic Circle and Surtsey.
Broad outlook.
Being thoughtful is a must if I am not to cry every week.
Has to be classy.
Must have ethics, values and integrity.
Humility, compassion and decent conversational skills too.
Needs to understand that my career is important and that I am an only child and have to be around my parents forever.
Last but not the least, must fight lizards for me! I can't!

Phew! Hope I didn't forget anything. Hehehe.

Till we meet again... Adios!

Mythology and the Art of Story Telling

2007-09-04T16:47:00.000+05:30

Mythology, surely an interesting concept, has often led us to believe several things, simply because we don't have certain answers. The reason why we all believe in mythological tales or consider believing them is because humans are curious and need to explain that which is incomprehensible. Almost every religion (each so complicated) attributes the creation of the world to their God or deity. That is why we have the Seven Day Story in the bible. In Hinduism, we have the holy trinity of Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva representing the cycle of creation - protection - and -destruction and renewal.

This is where the art of storytelling comes in. These mythological stories, so complellingly told and oft repeated form our impression of how things came to be. When in fact, most of us educated and scientific folks know that what we see today and how we see it, including the our planet and its creatures is a result of evolution, intelligent design, survival of the fittest and what have you.

Why is it then that we still find these stories fascinating? Why do we narrate them to children? Why do we go to places of worship? Somewhere we like to believe that there is a God (who knows, there actually may be one), that someone is watching over us and that the Earth was not formed due to years of evolution and other such dreary processes that are not as wonderful as the fantastic stories of creation that have done the rounds since time immemorial.
Having said that, it is true that in moments of agony, pain, trauma
and tragedy, we do look heavenwards. Also, when unexpected things or
miracles happen to us, we don't know who else to thank but God.

I personally don't know if there is a God or not. But I like to believe there is a superpower of
some sort. Someone we can pray or appeal to, someone we can thank and look up to. While
I don't find anything wrong with praying, but I do draw the line at excessive ritualism, idol worship and atrocities in the name of religion. In today's day
and age, God is also custom fit for everyone. Each of us have
a different concept of God and shares a personal relationship with Him/ Her.

At the end of the day, I feel there is just one God. Rama, Vishnu, Jesus, Allah, are just names or perhaps incarnations that may be fictitious for all we know. Nevertheless, mythological tales have always fascinated me. Here goes one I recently read on BBC's portal:

Brahma

Brahma is the first god in the Hindu triumvirate, or trimurti. The triumvirate consists of three gods who are responsible for the creation, upkeep and destruction of the world. The other two gods are Vishnu and Shiva. Vishnu is the preserver of the universe, while Shiva's role is to destroy it in order to re-create. Brahma's job was the creation of the world and all its creatures. His name should not be confused with Brahman, who is the supreme God force present within all things.

Brahma has four heads and it is believed that from these heads came the four Vedas (the most ancient religious texts for Hindus). Some also believe that the caste system, or four varnas, came from different part of Brahma's body. He has four arms and is usually depicted with a beard. Brahma's consort is Saraswati, goddess of knowledge.

Why is Brahma not worshipped so much?
There are a number of stories in the Hindu mythology which point to why he is rarely worshipped. The first view is that Brahma created a woman in order to aid him with his job of creation. She was called Shatarupa. She was so beautiful that Brahma became infatuated with her, and gazed at her wherever she went. This caused her extreme embarrassment and Shatarupa tried to turn from his gaze.But in every direction she moved, Brahma sprouted a head until he had developed four. Finally, Shatarupa grew so frustrated that she jumped to try to avoid his gaze. Brahma, in his obsession, sprouted a fifth head on top of all.

It is also said in some sources that Shatarupa kept changing her form. She became every creature on earth to avoid Brahma. He however, changed his form to the male version of whatever she was and thus every animal community in the world was created. Lord Shiva then admonished Brahma for demonstrating behaviour of an incestuous nature and chopped off his fifth head for 'unholy' behaviour. Since Brahma had distracted his mind from the soul and towards the cravings of the flesh, Shiva's curse was that people should not worship Brahma. As a form of repentance, it is said that Brahma has been continually reciting the four Vedas since this time, one from each of his four heads.

A second view of why Brahma is not worshipped , and a more sympathetic one, is that Brahma's role as the creator is over. It is left to Vishnu to preserve the world and Shiva to continue its path of cosmic reincarnation.

Vishnu

Vishnu is the second god in the Hindu triumvirate (or Trimurti). His role is to return to the earth in troubled times and restore the balance of good and evil. So far, he has been reincarnated nine times, but Hindus believe that he will be reincarnated one last time close to the end of this world. He is particularly associated with light and especially with the Sun.

In early texts, Vishnu is not included as one of the original seven solar gods (Adityas), but in later texts he is mentioned as leading them. From this time, Vishnu appears to have gained more prominence, and by the time of the Brahmanas (commentaries of the Vedas), he is regarded as the most important of all gods.

Two of Vishnu's incarnations, Rama and Krishna, are also the subject of the epic stories Ramayana and Mahabharata, respectively.

What does Vishnu look like?
Vishnu is represented with a human body, often with blue coloured skin and with four arms. His hands always carry four objects in them, representing the things he is responsible for. The conch: the sound this produces 'Om', represents the primeval sound of creation, the chakra, or discus: symbolises the mind, the lotus flower: an example of glorious existence and liberation, and the mace: represents mental and physical strength.

Vishnu has appeared in various incarnations nine times on this earth, with the tenth predicted. These are:

Matsya (fish) - Some Hindus believe that this is the similar to the biblical representation of Noah
Kurma (turtle) - Churning of the Ocean
Varaha (pig/boar) - In this avatar, Vishnu recovered the stolen Vedas
Narasimha (half lion, half man) - Vishnu managed to vanquish a demon who had gained immunity from attacks from man, beast or god
Vamana (dwarf sage with the ability to grow) - In this story, the evil demon Bali had taken over the earth and had pushed all of the gods from the heavens as well. Vishnu took the form of a dwarf, who tricked Bali into giving him as much of Bali's empire as he could cover in three steps. Vishnu as Vamana grew so large that with one step he had covered the earth, with the second the heavens, thus returning the ownership to the gods.
Parasurama (fierce man/hunter) - Vishnu rids the earth of irreligious and sinful monarchs
Rama (greatest warrior/ideal man) - As Rama, he kills the demon King Ravana, who abducted his wife Sita
Krishna (mentally advanced man) - Krishna is the hero of the Mahabharata, an epic poem. He also delivered his famous message, known as the Baghavad Gita.
Buddha (the all knowing one) - Who appeared in the 5th century BCE. In some traditions, Balarama replaces Buddha as an incarnation of Vishnu.
Kalki - Expected towards the end of this present age of decline, as a person on earth, seated on a white horse.

Vishnu in Hindu Mythology
The churning of the Milky Ocean is the story that explains how the gods finally defeated the demons and became immortal. In the story, Vishnu advised the other gods to churn the Milky Ocean in order to recover a number of lost treasures, including the elixir of immortality and Lakshmi, the goddess of success and wealth. Both of these items would enable the gods to defeat the demons who had taken taken over the universe.

Knowing the gods would be unable to churn the great ocean themselves, Vishnu struck a deal with the demons. He told them they would get a share of the treasures, including the elixir of immortality, if they helped to churn. They agreed. Vishnu told the gods and demons they should use Mount Madura as a churning stick, and the giant serpent, Vasuki, as a rope. Vishnu managed to persuade the demons to hold the head of the snake, which was spitting furiously, while the gods held the tail end. The serpent was then coiled around the mountain. Each side alternately pulled the rope then allowed it to relax, causing the mountain to rotate in the water.

Before they could regain the treasures however, there were many problems they had to face. As the gods and demons churned, the mountain began to sink into the soft sand bed of the sea. At the request of the gods, Vishnu incarnated as a turtle. He placed the mountain on his back to act as a foundation stone, thus allowing the churning to continue. When the elixir of immortality finally rose to the surface, the demons rushed to grab it. But Vishnu assumed the form of Mohini, a beautiful woman who captivated all the demons. By sleight of hand she changed the elixir for alcohol and returned the precious liquid to the gods.

The churning also brought Lakshmi forth from the ocean. She came as a beautiful woman standing on a lotus flower. Seeing all the gods before her, she chose the god she felt was most worthy of her. Vishnu and she have been inseperable since.

Shiva

Shiva is the third god in the Hindu triumvirate. Shiva's role is to destroy the universe in order to re-create it. Hindus believe his powers of destruction and recreation are used even now to destroy the illusions and imperfections of this world, paving the way for beneficial change. According to Hindu belief, this destruction is not arbitrary, but constructive. Shiva is therefore seen as the source of both good and evil and is regarded as the one who combines many contradictory elements.

Shiva is known to have untamed passion, which leads him to extremes in behaviour. Sometimes he is an ascetic, abstaining from all wordly pleasures. At others he is a hedonist. It is Shiva's relationship with his wife, Parvati which brings him balance. Their union allows him to be an ascetic and a lover, but within the bounds of marriage.

What does Shiva look like?
In his representations as a man, Shiva always has a blue face and throat. Strictly speaking his body is white, but images often show him with a blue body too. Shiva is represented with the following features:

A third eye - The extra eye represents the wisdom and insight that Shiva has. It is also believed to be the source of his untamed energy. On one occasion, when Shiva was distracted in the midst of worship by the love god, Kama, Shiva opened his third eye in anger. Kama was consumed by the fire that poured forth, and only returned to life when Parvati intervened.
A cobra necklace - This signifies Shiva's power over the most dangerous creatures in the world. Some traditions also say that the snake represents Shiva's power of destruction and recreation. The snake sheds its skin to make way for new, smooth skin.
The Vibhuti - The vibhuti are three lines drawn horizontally across the forehead in white ash. They represent Shiva's all pervading nature, his superhuman power and wealth. Also, they cover up his powerful third eye.
The Trident (Trishul) - The three pronged trident represents the three functions of the Hindu triumvirate.
Even though Shiva is the destroyer, he is usually represented as smiling and tranquil.
In other representations Shiva is sometimes represented as half man, half woman. His figure is split half way down the body, one half showing his body and the second half that of Parvati’s. Shiva is also represented by Shiva linga. This is a phallic statue, representing the raw power of Shiva and his masculinity. Hindus believe it represents the seed of the universe, demonstrating Shiva's quality of re-creation.
Shiva in Hindu Mythology
Shiva's consort is Devi, the Mother-goddess. Devi has taken on many forms in the past, including Kali, the goddess of death, and Sati, the goddess of marital felicity. Her best known incarnation is Parvati, Shiva's eternal wife. Hindus believe Shiva and Parvati live in the Kailash mountains in the Himalayas.

Shiva is also regarded as the Lord of Dance. The rhythm of dance is a metaphor for the balance in the universe which Shiva is believed to hold so masterfully. His most important dance is the Tandav. This is the cosmic dance of death, which he performs at the end of an age, to destroy the universe. According to one Hindu legend, Shiva almost signalled the end of this universe by performing this dangerous dance before its time. This is the story:

One day, the father of the goddess Sati decided to hold a prayer ceremony. At this prayer ceremony, all the gods would be invited and offerings would be made to them. But Shiva had married Sati against the wishes of her father and so, he was not invited. Sati was deeply offended on behalf of her husband. In anger, Sati prayed intensely and jumped into the sacred fire that was burning on the day of the ceremony.

During this time, Shiva had been in the midst of deep meditation. But when Sati jumped into the fire, he awoke in great anger, realising what his wife had done. The story becomes less certain at this point, but it is believed that Shiva started the cosmic dance of death. The whole universe was about to be destroyed before it was time. The gods who were present at the prayer ceremony were very concerned. In order to pacify him, they scattered the ashes of Sati over him. This did the trick. He calmed down and did not complete the dance. But he went into meditation for many years, deeply upset over the death of his wife, ignoring all his godly duties.

It was not until Sati was reborn as Parvati that Shiva finally came out of meditation. Through her love and patience, she taught him about family life and the importance of moderation. Shiva and Parvati are held up as the perfect example of marital bliss by many Hindus, and one is rarely depicted without the other.

Chhappar Phaad Ke !

2007-08-22T22:15:00.000+05:30

Jab bhagwan deta hai to chhappar phaad ke deta hai . . .

How true :D

Lady luck was really smiling on me today. A nagging medical problem was sorted, I saw my new crush after a drought of three long days AND . . .

I won I won I won !! Nothing beats a cash reward and acknowledgement and appreciation for your work :D

If last August was crappy, God sure is making up for it this year :)

My God !

2007-08-21T22:41:00.001+05:30

I just realized I did not post anything here for 21 days! Jeez!

This Week That Year

2007-08-21T22:10:00.000+05:30

This week of 2006 was excruciatingly torturous for me. I had a bad road accident, broke my ankle in different places, was operated upon, discharged from the hospital and came home in a royal ride: an ambulance.

This is no sob story, and frankly I am just writing it for myself. Whatever happened is in the past now, though it still does affect or rather limit me and I still remember all the details meticulously.

I am just glad that even though there is another operation in the offing, I am busy now, making money, walking, taking stairs, even doing little jigs and living life to the fullest. And never will I forget the people who were nice to me during this time. And to the ones who acted all nasty, well, Good Riddens to Bad Rubbish is all I have to say.

I am a tad more cynical now, more realistic, more trusting of God and myself and less trusting of people, but I think I needed to be. I mostly don't take people's words, promises and tall claims at face value now.

Maybe I have come of age :)

PS: Dear God, I am stronger now, but please don't make me go through something similar again. Please haan.

Girls CAN Read Maps!

2007-07-31T20:07:00.000+05:30

Woah! Was that fun or was that FUN! On saturday me and some gal pals headed straight to Pataudi Palace in Haryana and managed to reach there and back in one piece without the assistance of a man. Anyways, that was clearly not the high point of the excursion. The high point of the excursion was the journey and the excursion itself. Armed with good music, handy snacks, lots of cash and great company we set out for Tiger Pataudi's former abode. The balmy weather and verdant countryside also added to the fun. We saw many glorious sights on the way and I felt even more happy as I had not set out of Delhi NCR in a very very long time.

The white palace was more like a huge stately mansion, impressive nonetheless, even though some portions of it were screaming for attention. The palace complex was interesting to explore and included some mausoleums of the royal family, tiny canons, a madrasa, lovely gardens with mughal fountains and a rather abandoned mosque. Inside the palace we got a glimpse of life in the royal strata. Sadly, hunting was a much favoured royal pastime of the Nawabs and so we saw many stuffed animals in the palace, which mainly included deers and one grand tiger at the entrance. Pictures and books of the royal family graced the walls and bookshelves. I was only able to recognise Ibrahim Pataudi, Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi, Sharmila Tagore and Maharani Gayatri Devi in the plethora of pictures on display.

The courtyards and verandahs were amazing and the poolside and huge royal bathrooms were also impressive... hehehe. The hotel staff gave us a tour of two of the rooms in the heritage hotel. The furniture was ancient and one of the rooms even sported an MF Hussain original. The TV lounge was a tad dissappointing because of the tiny TV there. We all went nuts clicking pictures and I even tried my hand at playing pool in the royal pool table. I ended up embarassing myself, but no one was looking so it was quite ok.

The worst part of the excursion was the money we had to shell out to enjoy the palace. They had a No Lunch - No Go policy and the blasted Nawabi Lunch was for 600 bucks per plate plus taxes. Sheesh! Our office pantry serves a better meal!

All in all a thrilling experience. One should always try and get out of the city for short excursions, they certainly do refresh the mind. Plus exploring something new is always exciting.

Ye Duniya agar Mil bhi jaye to Kya hai . . .

2007-07-22T00:18:00.000+05:30

Such a fantastically melancholy and poignant song . . . though I did not admire the vocals much. Nonetheless, a fab discovery from the film Pyaasa . . .

Yeh Mahalon, Yeh Takhton, Yeh Taajon Ki Duniya
Yeh Insaan Ke Dushman, Samajon Ki Duniya
Yeh Daulat Ke Bhooke, Riwajon Ki Duniya
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye, To Kya Hai ?

Har Ek Jism Ghayal, Har Ek Rooh Pyaasi
Nigaahon Mein Uljhan, Dilon Mein Udaasi
Yeh Duniya Hai Ya Aalam-E-Badhawaasi
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai ?

Yahan Ek Khilona Hai Insaan Ki Hasti
Yeh Basti Hai Murda Paraston Ki Basti
Yahan Zindagi Se Bhi Hai Maut Sasti
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai ?

Jawaani Bhatakti Hai Badkaar Bankar
Jawaan Jism Sajte Hain Baazar Bankar
Yahaan Pyar Hota Hai Vyopar Bankar
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai ?

Yeh Duniya Jahaan Aadmi Kuchh Nahi Hai
Wafaa Kuchh Nahi, Dosti Kuchh Nahi Hai
Jahan Pyaar Ki Kadr Hi Kuchh Nahin Hai
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye, To Kya Hai ?

Jalaa Do Ise, Fooq Dalo Yeh Duniya
Jalaa Do, Jalaa Do, Jalaa Do
Fooq Dalo Yeh Duniya
Mere Samne Se Hata Lo Yeh Duniya
Tumhari Hai, Tum Hi Sambhalo Yeh Duniya
Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai ?

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

2007-07-13T21:37:00.000+05:30

Got this in a mail, liked it a lot. . .

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens tous. We cannot stop the car from breaking down.The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine
the other 90%. How? By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don'tlet people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses thebus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say,"It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time".Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good is the day that you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!!

Avifauna Galore !

2007-07-13T21:17:00.000+05:30

Our lawn seems to attract its fair share of birds. Species observed so far - Hens, Cocks, Ducks (...!), Joys, Koel, Crows (aren't they everywhere), Pigeons, Mynas... and some species I do not recognise :D

Congratulations to us all !

2007-07-08T10:34:00.000+05:30

The verdict is out and the world has taken its pick. India's Taj Mahal stands proudly among the new Seven Wonders of the World. The immaculate beauty of the Taj spells grandeur and it is truly romance in stone. I remember the first time I saw the majestic monument. I was 16 and it was hot as hell, but the moment I laid my eyes on the Taj Mahal, I was pretty much dumb struck. For there it was, in all its glory.

Taj Mahal, India
The Reigning Beauty

More than anything else I am glad that in this screwed up world
of ours, among the Seven Wonders of the World, one is a symbol of love.
The others are symbols of defence, religion and the like. This goes on to illustrate that no matter how our world may be swept by waves of terrorism, hatred, malice, materialism, utilitarianism and other such 'isms', nothing beats the power of love. Though I am a tad disappointed that St. Basil and Ankorwat lost :(

The other Wonders of the World, equally beautiful and significant are:

Chichén Itzá, Mexico
(My Pick)

Stattue of Christ the Redeemer, Brazil

The Great Wall, China

Machu Picchu, Peru
(My Pick)

Petra, Jordan

The Roman Colloseum, Italy

Let's hit the PUB Yaar !!

2007-07-02T20:09:00.000+05:30

So what's the hype about anyways? Is it about lights too low in which you can't read the menu, or is it about the music too loud in which you can't make out if you are talking to a guy or a gal on the phone? Finally, after my first rendevouz with pubbing, I have all the answers and more.

In pubs, three things reign supreme - ambience, booze/smoke and crowd. The time when I would normally be heading home after stretching my limit (self-induced curfew), is the time that a pub begins to somewhat come alive and people trickle in, in small numbers. We were lucky to get free entry (contacts, you see! not that I was paying anyways). I expected to open the sound proof doors of the pub and see a vibrant crowd dancing their blues away. What I got was an empty dance floor. Bummer eh? Not quite. The music was hip, the ambience was new and fantastic, the crowd was... well it wasn't so crowded (attention all you whiners n Delhi critics - Delhi has a nightlife, in fact delhi has a really late nightlife!).

We sat on the plush leather couches and enjoyed the music, the ambience and strained our eyes trying to read the menu. As we waited for the drinks to arrive, I observed the crowd, they were not my type of people, hehehe. The first round of booze began, though I
had a cocktail called mojitos (much to my annoyance, they did not have breezers, the waiter seemed to smile sympathetically/mockingly). I tried a sip of vodka followed by bacardi, didn't like either! So now, main madira pee leti hu :P

Finally people started trickling in, lots of foriegners as well (this does not imply we were the first ones there - thank god for small mercies). But still no one on the dance floor. So we had scrumptious chicken mexican wraps in the mean time. As the clock struck 11.45, the dance floor began to liven up and my friends did a little jig, but they sat down too soon as they thought I was getting bored, which I was not. Sadly for us, we had a curfew. Just like Cinderella, at the stroke of midnight, or a little later we left the pub. On our way home we saw the aftermath of a bad bad accident (YIKES!).

By and large, a fab new experience (glad that I am keeping some of my new year's resolutions). Would I do it again? Maybe, but not very soon, perhaps with a bigger gang this time and a different pub. Two is not company and three is certainly not a crwod as far as pubbing is concerned I still don't see what the big deal is, but it was good.

PS: The best part was all the dry ice ka dhuaan on us after every five minutes! What a seat it was. lol!

FEELS SO GOOD !

2007-06-30T20:37:00.000+05:30

Feels great to have made a difference, to have lent a helping hand and helped shape the life of a child for one year :D

I don't even care now if I get fired ! :)

Slow Dance

2007-06-30T20:30:00.000+05:30

A newspaper cutting of a poem I have had for long. Really nice . . .

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done !
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Ze Fruitless Orchard

2007-06-24T20:34:00.000+05:30

We have lived in this house for more than a decade and has been a witness to many ups and downs we have faced (more downs than ups). It is a great house (a thing I realised only after seeing some matchbox houses in Gurgoan). Spacious rooms, huge lounge kind hall and an exclusive parking area with a tiny lawn. Our own patch of green in this concrete jungle.

Over the years, we have tried to plant tons of things here and treat it partly as a kitchen garden. Not many rewards have we gathered. The banana tree does not grow anything bigger than green semi-bananas which are no longer than a finger. The lemon tree has also grown tall like the banana tree, but no luck yet. Maybe the soil is not the kind which supports these crops.

So far we have had luck only with the mehendi leaves (the bush is history now), curry leaves and red radishes, which everyone thought were yummy (too bad i didnt relish this salad ingredient back then). Flowers there have been aplenty, but over the years the lawn
has gone through quite a few demolitions, drain constructions by the government et al. It doesnt help that our maali is an eid-ka-chaand. It needs major sprucing up to get back to its former manicured glory.

Now that I have started earning, I think a major weight has been lifted from my parents minds. They are finally spending on things that were long overdue.

Hopefully ze lawn would also gets its due.

Vinta on Breezer . . .

2007-06-24T20:28:00.000+05:30

I personally think that Vinta from TOI is a fab writer, especially on issues of men and women. This article was again an interesting sunday read, but I could not help feeling that the lady in question was a li'l high when she wrote this. I agree with most of it nonetheless. Here's the piece:

What attracts a woman to a man
Looks, sense of humour and conversational skills apart, a woman’s biggest turn-on is an idea of the effect she has on a man! BY - Vinita Dawra Nangia

WHAT attracts a woman to a man? The usual reply: ‘A sense of humour, great personality and a sensitive, caring attitude’. The unusual reply: ‘Money and power’. What you will never hear is the actual truth. A woman is generally attracted to a man who is attracted to her.

There, the cat’s out of the bag — the single biggest fear of fathers and husbands who become wary-eyed the moment a man shows signs of being attracted to a woman!

And that’s why it becomes imperative that a man, if he is to succeed in the seduction game, compliments a woman on her looks, personality, her intelligence, eyes, hands, feet… anything!
Most women are so totally in love with themselves that the one thing that appeals to them above all is a guy who not just finds them appealing, but is deeply affected by them. Most sincere men may give compliments a miss, considering them too shallow to express their true feelings, and that’s where they make their fatal mistake. Just get this right guys, a woman wants to hear it all, all the time.

And, don’t just tell her she’s beautiful or gorgeous – she knows that and has been probably told so by many before you. What most men don’t realise is that a woman’s biggest turn-on is an idea of the effect she has on you! So go with, “I am nuts about you!” or “Do you even have an idea what you are doing to me?” or “I just can’t figure out the way time flies when I’m with you!”

Just ladle it out guys, in huge heaps! Prefix this with mushy, overdone endearments (sweetheart, princess, darling, baby...) and you have a winner on your hands! No woman can resist a man who declares himself smitten by her. But do beware, once you have her hooked, she will be watching closely to see that effect doesn’t wear off ever.

A woman loves to know you are thinking of her at all times; convince her you do. Send her messages or call her at the most unexpected moments just to tell her even in the midst of all your work and engagements, part of your thoughts are with her. Never ever do anything to give her a feeling of rejection, such as cutting off her call or not getting back to her for a longish period. A woman needs to feel wanted and be your first priority. She wants to be relevant to every aspect of your life; it gives her a great kick if you pose your professional dilemmas to her and involve her in a discussion. She also expects you to do likewise for her professional and social involvements.

Having said that, let’s not assume that just ‘any’ man can get away on the strength of compliments alone. There are certain prerequisites a woman demands in a man. And no, looks is not one of them, though hygiene and grooming certainly are. A woman may be attracted to a good looking guy but she would be wary of choosing him as a partner. She realises he would be attractive to other women too, and hence there’s more likelihood of him straying. And, loyalty is high on her list of requirements.

For ages women have been attracted to healthy, strong men who could be good providers. That still holds true, though today women also look for men who can meet their emotional needs. As discussed in an earlier column in this space, that’s the contemporary man’s dilemma – that a woman requires from him two opposite attributes – hardness as well as softness!
Of course a good body is always a beacon for the ladies. Here goes her wish list in order of priority according to a recent survey – strong, athletic shape; broad shoulders and chest; tight bum; a full growth of hair; sensual mouth; understanding eyes; strong chin and nose; flat abs and a three-day stubble! In fact ,the ladies even whisper about how a big nose, large hands and feet signify a big penis! Research however pooh-poohs such conjectures. It is also said that a man who dances well is bound to be a good lover; that could have an element of truth!
They say women are attracted to bad boys. A guy who is a bit of a scoundrel has immense appeal because of the element of unpredictability and danger he brings with him. And yet, however irresistible he may be, a woman seldom chooes a bad boy for a long term relationship, if she can help it.

Women aren’t genetically programmed to be aroused by the sight of male genitals, though it works the other way round for men – hence the popularity of porn magazines for men, and why porn for women never ever really took off. Growth of facial hair is directly connected to high levels of testosterone and hence is sexually attractive to a woman – the day your testosterone flows, beard growth is faster.

A man who is successful or bent upon improving his situation in life and has plans and goals towards that end, also attracts a woman. So, in short, a man on the move with great relationship and communication skills; is caring; and one who is never short on compliments, is a sure lady-killer!

Yes, you are right – tough! But not impossible. Whoever told you seducing a woman and keeping her interested was easy?

Humse kuch na boliye . . .

2007-06-14T22:52:00.000+05:30

We are who we are, no use fighting our character (though one can always strive to be better) That's exactly what dis old melody says. Love this song! :D

Ham hain rahi pyar ke, hamase kuchh na boliye
Jo bhi pyar se mila, ham usi ke ho liye
Ham usi ke ho liye
Jo bhi pyar se mila, ham usi ke ho liye

Dard bhi hamen qubul, chaina bhi hamein kubool
Hamne har tarah ke phul, haar mein piro liye
Jo bhi pyar se mila ...

Dhoop thi nasiba mein, to dhoop mein liya hai dam
Chandani mili to ham, chandani mein so liye
Jo bhi pyar se mila ...

Dil pe aasara kiye, ham to bas yuhi jiye
Ek kadam pe hans liye, ek kadam pe ro liye
Jo bhi pyar se mila ...

Rah mein pade hain ham, kabase aap ki kasam
Dekhiye to kam se kam, boliye naa boliye
Jo bhi pyar se mila ...

Ham hain rahi pyar ke, hamase kuchh na boliye
Jo bhi pyar se mila, ham usi ke ho liye . . .

Thoughts

2007-06-13T23:14:00.000+05:30

If constructive thoughts are planted positive outcomes will be the result.
Plant the seeds of failure and failure will follow.

Anonymous

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also
depends on what kind of a person you are.

C.S. Lewis

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most
intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

Charles Darwin

Songs on my Mind...

2007-06-12T20:33:00.000+05:30

I Wanna Dance with Somebody...

Clock strikes upon the hour,
And the sun begins to fade.
Still enough time to figure out,
How to chase my blues away.

I've done alright up till now.
It's the light of day that shows me how.
And when the night falls...
The loneliness calls.

Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.

I've been in love,
And lost my senses,
Spinning through the town.
Sooner or later the fever ends,
And I wind up feeling down.

I need a man who'll take a chance,
On a love that burns hot enough to last.
So when the night falls,
my lonely heart calls.

Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
(Somebody who somebody who)somebody who loves me,
(Somebody who somebody who)to hold me in his arms.
I need a man who'll take a chance,
on a love that burns hot enough to last.
So when the night falls,
my lonely heart calls.

Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Yeah,
Don't you wanna dance with me baby?
Don't you wanna dance with me boy?
Don't you wanna dance with me baby?

With somebody who loves me,

don't you wanna dance
say you wanna dance
don't you wanna dance... (3)
uh-huh
with somebody who loves me

-Whitney Houston

------------------------------------------

Cruel Summer...

Hot summer streets
And the pavements are burning
I sit around
Trying to smile
But the air is so heavy and dry
Strange voices are saying
What did they say
Things I can't understand
It's too close for comfort
This heat has got right out of hand

(chorus x 2)
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Now you've gone

The city is crowded
My friends are away
And I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle
So I got to get up and go

(chorus)
You're not the only one
(chorus)

(chorus)
You're not the only one
(chorus)

- Ace of Base/ Bananarama

--------------------------------------------

Thank You for the Music...

Im nothing special, in fact Im a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, youve probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
cause everyone listens when I start to sing
Im so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing
Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And Ive often wondered, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, Im a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing
Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Ive been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing
Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

- Abba

-------------------------------------------------

Money Money Money...

Money, money, money, money, money (6)
Some people got to have it
Some people really need it
Listen to me y'all, do things
Do things, do bad things with it
You wanna do things, do things
Do things, good things with it
Talk about cash money, money
Talk about cash money
Dollar bills, yall

For the love of money
People will steal from their mother
For the love of money
People will rob their own brother
For the love of money
People can't even walk the street
Because they never know
Who in the world they're gonna beat
For that lean, mean, mean green
Almighty dollar, money

For the love of money
People will lie, Lord, they will cheat
For the love of money
People don't care who they hurt or beat
For the love of money
A woman will sell her precious body
For a small piece of paper
It carries a lot of weight
Call it lean, mean, mean green

Almighty dollar

I know money is the root of all evil
Do funny things to some people
Give me a nickel, brother can you spare a dime
Money can drive some people out of their minds

Got to have it, I really need it
How many things have I heard you say
Some people really need it
How many things have I heard you say
Got to have it, I really need it
How many things have I heard you say
Lay down, lay down, a woman will lay down
For the love of money
All for the love of money
Don't let, don't let, don't let money rule you
For the love of money
Money can change people sometimes
Don't let, don't let, don't let money fool you
Money can fool people sometimes
People, don't let money, don't let money change you
It will keep on changing, changing up your mind

- The Apprentice

The Authentic Hypochondriac

2007-06-08T20:58:00.000+05:30

Hypochondria - an excessive preoccupation with health and diseases, is more of a
state of mind or a phobia than a psychological disorder. While Hypochondriacs there
are many, not all are authentic. Here is a checklist of Authentic Hypochondriacs:

1. You are not, I repeat, NOT an authentic hypochondriac if you are not obsessed/
preoccupied with the fact that there are germs everywhere, on every surface,
including the buttons on the elevator, on the towel, on the spoon, even on packed
tissues.

2. You are not an authentic hypochondriac if you do not wash your hands at least,
at least 6 times a day with an antiseptic/ antibacterial soap.

3. If you do not fret about a centimetre of a dry patch on the skin, a little more
than usual hair on the comb, or if you forgot to drink 1.5 - 2 ltrs of water in a
day (and you actually make menatal records of water consumed).

4. Just stop reading if you do not link any weird aches and pains to life altering/
extinguishing diseases such as cancer (throat, skin, blood, lung, anything!), TB,
liver cirrhosis, tumours and what have you.

5. If you do not quickly examine plates and glasses examined at the table at
restaurants, cafeterias, water coolers, et al...

6. If you can simply not let anything keep you from reading the tiniest bit of
reasearch data/ feature/ cover story related to health issues. YOU JUST HAVE TO READ
IT!

The Pursuit of Happyness

2007-06-01T22:50:00.000+05:30

First I thought I would be happy if I had a xyz
But then i met someone who had it, but was not happy

Then i thought i would be happy when i got an xyz
But again, the person who had it was not happy

I was not happy till I realised that happyness neither comes from things or the lack
of it.

We constantly delay happiness thinking about what lies ahead, what is next to
achieve. But life is an ongoing process and till the time we die, there are always
going to be things to achieve, errands to run, duites to perform, things to worry about and things to pine for.

What is being happy? How does one become and stay happy? To say that "I just want to
be happy" is asking for the moon without even knowing so. What we must realise is
that there is no perfect time to be happy. Happyness is here and now.

Material Girl !

2007-05-29T20:57:00.000+05:30

I only love a few songs by Madonna, and this stanza sure does rock!!

Cause we are

Living in a material world

And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world

And I am a material girl...

Jo bhi kaho boss, Money is Power
Paisa bolta hai :P

Dumb & Dumber !

2007-05-26T00:02:00.000+05:30

Dumb : A total of 4099 athletes participated out of which 3714 were the men and 385 were the women.

Dumber : Out of these participants, 5230 were men athletes and 1567 women were women athletes.

2007-05-21T22:11:00.000+05:30

Barbie Indeed!

I met Barbie the other day. She still looks the same, not a day older, not an inch thicker, not an ounce heavier. She still has glorious locks.

While I... well, I was slightly (very) embarassed to meet her. I sure did cut a sorry figure. I looked many days older, many inches thicker and many many many ounces heavier. Neither did I have my glorious european looking locks anymore.

Boys will be Boys

My seat was changed. AGAIN! Let's see how long this lasts. The HR folks were considerate enough to give me a gem of a seat this time, providing me easy access. That however meant that the person who was on my seat had 2 be moved 2 my former dingy dungeon seat (not that I complained much).

The guy, let's call him NN, is SUCH a whiner. He cribbed all day long, even told me that I shouldn't have done this. Did he intend to make me feel guilty? But seeing a grown man whine and be such a cry baby was amusing. Even his friends made fun of him.

By the end of the day I was determined 2 stick to his seat no matter what. I sat in that seat for several weeks and not once did i crib like him! He ought to grow up. Men! I tell ya!

PS: Whoever said women were nags and talked too much should meet this band of boys. They talk more in 8 hours than I do in the whole week! Jeez! How the hell do they get any work done!

Main Miss India

What's with the Aishwarya Rai Complex these girls at work have? I complimented one, telling her "You're really looking nice today". And what reply do I get? "Huh! Don't I look nice everyday?" :O

And there is one on the second floor. Floating chiffon dupattas, long open hair, clearly her inspiration is Yashraj Films. There are more, but I'd rather not talk about ALL of them! :)

India, the Beautiful

2007-05-20T00:45:00.000+05:30

We often yearn to travel abroad, most often than not, we don't even know our way
around town or know about tourist spots in our own city. How often is it that we
clamour to visit Khajuraho instead of Kent, Amritsar instead of Australia,
Pondicherry instead of Pattaya? If charity begins at home, travel should begin with
one's nation. It is important to know our country before we set out to explore the
world. New Delhi, therefore must come before New York.

I have been a travel enthusiast for ages (am just 22: note to self) and there are
many places I wish to visit before I die. I thought it would be a good idea to
enlist what I wish to visit in my lifetime:

In Delhi & NCR

The Lotus Temple

Akshardham Temple

The Mughal Gardens
Jama Masjid
The Red Fort

(I think I have seen the rest of the tourist spots in Delhi)

In India

Madhya Pradesh - Buddhist sites, Khajuraho, Forts and Palaces
Goa - Beaches, Churches and Colonial Structures
Jammu & Kashmir
Rajasthan – Udaipur and Jaisalmaer
North Eastern States - All of em! Primarily for monasteries and tea estates.
Kolkata - Howrah Bridge, Victoria Memorial
Lakshadweep Islands
Andaman & Nicobar Islands
Hyderabad - Charminar and Pearls!
Chowki Dhaani - I wanna I wanna!
Ooty

In the World

Australia
Venice, Italy
Maldives
Bali, Indonesia
Thailand
Bora Bora, Tahiti
Iceland - esp to catch a glimpse of the world's youngest island close to it.
Poconos in Pennsylvania, America
France
Russia
Latin America - at least one nation!
China

Mysore Palace by Day

Mysore Palace by Night

Must Visit Again

I have explored many places in India, some call for a second visit.

Agra – Taj Mahal, Agra Fort, Fatehpur Sikri
Mysore – Mysore Palace
Orissa – Chilka Lake for Dolphins
Kerala – Kovalam Beach, Backwaters, Pondicherry
Mumbai – Let’s face it, my two “visits” were not exactly visits.

By far, the best image of the Taj I have seen

India is inspiring, beautiful, diverse and my home. The sights and sounds are simply
unparalleled and there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than in India at Dilli.

Ozone Again

2007-05-13T22:48:00.000+05:30

I have a feeling if I knew Vinita Dawra Nangia in person, we would be really good friends :)
So here I am, watching a sunday end and posting her column in my blog. Cheers!!

We’ll Love you Just the Way you are ...if you are Perfect!

Men move around under a cloud of guilt unable to understand or meet the ever-burgeoning expectations of women in their lives! BY: Vinita Dawra Nangia

SOMETIMES, just sometimes, I feel bad for men. Considering the quantum leap women have taken from the last generation to ours, men can only be said to have regressed. As women gain confidence and poise, they are not just challenging men in their own space but also questioning what for generations has been accepted male behaviour.

That leaves men befuddled, with no role models to follow. After all, when they look towards their dads, they see a generation of guys who still shout out to their wives for a glass of water – and get it! Dare they try the same?! Not a chance, faced as they are with perhaps the most formidable generation of women in years past and to come – women who have discovered their identity and are revelling in the newfound strength of their feminity.

To make matters worse, a recent study indicated that men may no longer be required for procreation either, with the possibility of creating sperms from a woman’s bone marrow! How men must have quaked at the prospect of being nudged out of the only activity they believed women couldn’t manage without them! Pleasure, of course, is a possibility without guys, as women have known since Stone Age it seems (as indicated by the recent discovery of sex toys and dildos in a Stone Age cave in Germany)!

Men today labour under a perpetual cloud of guilt, not quite sure what they have done wrong nor what they are expected to do! Not surprising because women themselves don’t seem too sure of who or what they really want their man to be!

It begins with Mom, who starts telling her little boy he shouldn’t be like Dad because no woman other than her would tolerate such an attitude. She forgets to mention however who or what he should be like. Then there is sis who is perpetually complaining about perceived disadvantages and blaming him for these, “Just because he’s a boy!” Quite unsure what his being a boy has to do with everything wrong in her life, he moves on to girlfriend and wife.

The problem here is that no woman is quite sure whether she wants a macho guy who sweeps her off her feet and vows to protect her, or a metrosexual man of the world, who is gentle and savvy and her equal. While she makes up her mind, our man has been hurtled through many avatars, which have left him one confused mess. Counter to what he has heard about feminists, a woman is quite happy with him paying all restaurant bills and holding open doors for her; wants him to be the chief breadwinner of the family and to handle all payments and matters that require running around. And yet, she also expects him to help around at home, with the house as well as kids! Whoa!

Well, to be honest, no man actually does all that, but that’s where the guilt seeps in! Expectations are a strange thing. They have nothing to do with you. And yet, either you do what you are expected to do, or you suffer guilt pangs. And once that happens, it gives the woman in his life just what she needs – a handle on her man. Most men complain women have become adept at making them feel inadequate. But of course, how else would we feel more than adequate? Come, honestly girls, how often have you heard the guy in your life whine, “Why am I blamed for everything that goes wrong?!” There you are!

Is it any wonder then that most women think men today seem confused, inflexible and inadequate? He’s damned if he does; damned if he doesn’t! And either way, he certainly can’t hope to measure up to the paragon we dream of!

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn’t fast enough
To make us happy
We’ll love you just the way you are
If you’re perfect
– Alanis Morissette

My Comments: Let's face it, life is not all that easy for an Indian male. They sure do get away with a lot of stuff by and large, but they also carry the burden of Great Mammoth Expectations!
TO BE CONTINUED: I am bummed abt MONDAY up ahead :(

Damn the Narrow Arteries

2007-05-10T21:38:00.000+05:30

It just aint fair that women have narrower arteries than men, as it puts them at
higher risk of CAD - Coronary Artery Disease and makes diagnosis difficult as well.

According to Prevention magazine:

Recognise the Symptoms

All heart attacks begin with a sudden, crushing pain only on TV. Actually, many
attacks start slowly as mild pain or discomfort. A full blown attack feels like
someone is sitting on your chest. In the case of women, the symptoms (chest, stomach
and jaw pain, nausea, dizziness, breathlessness and fatigue) are often muted. Why?
Answers Manchanda, “Possibly because the arteries are smaller to begin
with.” Add to that a condition named endothelial dysfunction — common
among women. Here, the lining of the artery doesn’t expand to properly boost
blood flow when it should be boosted.

Know your Numbers

» Ask your doctor to check your blood pressure, cholesterol (total, HDL, LDL,
triglycerides) and blood sugar. (It does unnerve me that i know the meaning of all
these terms - long live hypochondria)

» Doctors now suggest that you tack on one more measurement to your regular
cholesterol test: for lipoprotein, a protein strand thats attached to bad
cholesterol molecules. Researchers from the Framingham Heart Study, Massachusetts,
tested these levels in more than 3,000 women and found that participants with
lipoprotein above 30 mg/dl in their blood doubled their risk of heart disease.

Rate Your Risk

In addition to abnormal cholesterol, you're more likely to develop heart
disease if you have these as a part of your life:

» Smoking Ups the odds at least two to four times

» Diabetes Raises your risk four to six times

» Blood Pressure higher than 135/85

» Obesity Raises the risk of other conditions as well—high BP, high
cholesterol and diabetes. (GULP...)

» Premature Menopause Either naturally or through surgical removal of ovaries.

» Sedentary Lifestyle (UMMM...)

» Chronic Stress

» Heredity

» Gum Disease has a strong connection with heart disease. Often, bacteria from the
gums enter the arteries and cause inflammation. Good oral hygiene and a dental
check-up every six months are great preventives.

» Elevated C-Reactive Protein is produced by the liver in reaction to injury or
inflammation. Research correlates high levels of CRP with an increased risk of heart
attacks. Elevated levels of CRP could mean that the arteries are inflamed.
Inflammation can cause rupture of plaque. More than 3.0mg/dl is considered high
risk. (ERMM...)

Get Moving

» Be physically active. Start by doing as many household chores as you can. Urban
surveys show that 51 to 75% of Indian women report low levels of physical activity.
Aim for 30 minutes of walk/excercise at least 5 days a week. Take the stairs instead
of the elevator.

» A Harvard University study showed that women who walked at 5 kmph or faster at
least 3 hours a week reduced their risk of heart disease by 40%.

» Instead of watching TV sitting down, combine it with an activity like ironing
clothes or walking on the treadmill.

Eat Right

» Wholewheat bread, brown rice, lentils, fish, poultry and lean meat are good for
your heart. A low-fat diet works for most women, but women with a low HDL level can
actually increase their risk of heart disease by cutting back on all fats.

» Eat breakfast every day.

» Snack every two hours, not on oily aloo bhujia and chips but on nuts or fruits.

» Switch to a lighter cooking oil like olive or canola oil. Yes, they are pricey,
but both your heart and wallet will love the fact that you are using less oil than
before anyway. Olive oil raises good HDL.

Stay Light

» Its not just about looking great, BMI is important. Body Mass Index is a
measure of body fat calculated by dividing your weight in kilograms by the square of
your height in metres.

» A BMI of under 24 is ideal for women.

» To calculate your BMI log on to nhlbisupport.com/bmi or prevention.
com/bmicalculator.

Chill

» Chronic stress raises the level of homocysteine, an amino acid that increases the
risk of heart disease.

» You may not be able to cut stress totally, but try reducing it through yoga and
meditation. Pranayams and savasana are good stress-busters.

» American cardiologist Arthur Agaston says you can lower your homocysteine levels
with a daily dose of 400 microgram (mcg) of folic acid from foods like spinach
and beans.

Picture of the Day

A brilliant Skyscape
(Reminds me of arteries too in a way)

Thoughts & Grudges

2007-05-09T22:11:00.000+05:30

Daily Thoughts from the workplace :)

The Greatest Gift you can give someone is your time
Because when you are giving someone your time,
You are giving them a portion of your life that you will never get back.

- No Clue

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of

an equal or greater benefit.

- Napolean Hill

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness
I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it
now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way
again.

-William Penn

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.

-Bette Midler

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grudges :(

1. People are pure evil at times. Then again some people are pure evil all the time!

2. My benevolent boss is being shifted to Gurgaon branch and a khadoos is replacing him. No more easy sanction of leaves. I sure will miss him.

3. The stitches cause itches!

4. The stoopid maid won't come back from her gaaon. Cookin after a hard day's work with a bloated foot = not my idea of fun.

Picture of the Day
(Haven't posted one in a really long time)

How do they DO IT?

2007-05-06T18:49:00.001+05:30

Everybody has seen them, and everybody knows one for sure. I am talking about those girls. You know, the kinds who are always prim n proper, with not a hair out of place. Even if you go to their house at an odd hour, they will still be somewhat put together! I ceratinly cannot imagine any of these running for cover when a camera is sprung up!

Are you gals for real!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Always armed with make-up (which is weather proof, i may as well add) they manage to make it seem like blasphemy to be
seen at ease, without the greasepaint, the accessories and often
end up embarassing you by just being.

Reason, Season or Lifetime

2007-05-05T23:34:00.000+05:30

A lot of you may have already read this somewhere or the other. I find it to be absolutely true and meaningful (would not be posting it otherwise!).

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

or to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.

Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

When people come into your life for a SEASON,

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,

the season eventually ends.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person;

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

Economic Utopia

2007-05-02T22:23:00.000+05:30

A highly impractical, but not entirely impossible state would be a state
of Economic Utopia. What would that be, one may wonder, and the answer is
that it would be such a state (and am not talkin abt geographical states)
where money would not be over-valued, stones, gems, precious metals would also
not be valued at their rarity.

Ideally, an Economic Utopia would function on the long forgotten barter
system which originated in China. But how can the process be adopted in
our times? Production would continue as usual, but free of cost. Why?
Because if one was to go to buy a chair, for instance, the shopkeeper
would give it to him knowing that if he needs a trouser he can also go and
get it for free, because the one who would sell him the trouser can also
get a computer for paying no amount.

Now, that takes care of the consumer goods and durables, but what about
services? Would one go to work everyday, knowing that they dont really
need to work in order to satify human materialistic needs? Maybe they
would, if services compensate for services. One goes to work in whatever
chosen field one wants to (aah, to follow one's heart's desire to go for a
favoured career without thinking of money), provides services and comes
back at the end of the day to find that the plumber or the doctor wont
take money. Services for services.

However, land and it's ownership would be a fickle concept, if everything is for free, everybody would want a huge chunk of land and that could lead to a lot of chaos, land is limited after all. But other than that, just imagine, no money, no debit and credit cards, no class divisions based on wealth and other posessions, no holding yourselves back, no slogging for material desires (read shopping!), no financial insecurities and tensions of making payments.

On the flip side, quality would perhaps go for a toss and excellence would
be neither inspired nor awarded. There would be no real struggles, perhaps
people would be lax, careless and indulgent. And nobody would want to the dirty business for sure. Hehehe.

Surely, that is a somewhat vague way of describing the functioning of such
a Utopia. I hope I did not sound like Jairaj!

PS: To the person dropping anonymous comments on my blog, kindly reveal ur name, I would like to read your blog too :P

Rewriting Panjak

2007-04-29T13:04:00.000+05:30

Directing Tips from ISOA (Indian Soap Opera Association)

Posted by pankajunk on March 27th, 2007

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

Camera Placement
Always place the camera between someone’s legs, under a table or on a chandelier. No face level shots please. Also note,  brownie points for a falling chandelier and more if a resulting rescue occurs and a saaazish is thwarted!

Camera Movement
The Cameraman should preferably have Parkinsons. Rapid to-and-fro and side-to-side movement heightens emotions. 3 level zoom also compensates for dead expressions.

Any camera man who fails to do the above mentioned may as well opt for early retirement and watch these very shows on tv.

Music
Rapid transition between different themes. For example if four characters are communicating - a goodie two shoes, a vamp, an angry person and an excited person - each time the camera focuses on a particular person, the corresponding music should play in the background.

For example a possible sequence could be soothing goody melody - sultry vamp music - angry dramatic music - soothing music - excited music - angry music - vamp music - goody melody music etc. Quick transition is the key.

Choir singers and cheesy lyrics are more than welcome too.  Once again, the music aids the actor to cover lack of expression. Dharti-Phat-Gayi music for a shocking instance (KYA? YE NAHI HO SAKTA!! -  y make the actor say this over n over again, just push play)
For sankaari folks, the b'ground music must include chants, gayatri mantra is the reigning fav.

Expressions
Facial expressions are the best way to communicate the script to the audience.
Goody characters should have noble expressions, an angelic face and that extra something that spells SANSKAAAAAR, and villains should have leery expressions so that the audience can differentiate between the two.

And if it’s a villain posing as a goody, intermittent leery expressions when the character is alone should be adhered to.

Extension of Scenes
Particular scenes need to be prolonged to heighten impact (this also helps in lengthening the lifespan of the soap which equates to more ad revenue). For example news is broken to two characters and each one reacts differently - one with joy and the other with shock. The camera should focus on each alternately to convey the intensity of the emotions.

For example a possible sequence could be :- camera on happy person - camera on shocked person - happy person - shocked person - happy - shocked - happy - shocked - happy - shocked - happy - shocked - happy - shocked and so on( with appropriate music of course). This sequence should be continued till the audience have pulled out their hair and have lifted their foot to kick the TV screen.

Costumes, Accessories et al
By far the most important element in a TV soap. ZE COSTUMES.

Vamp = Stylish, over dressed at home and all occassions, must have a signature accessory or costume quirk. Deep necks and sultry make are also indispensible. Must become a fashion statement within three months of the serial's telecast, else go in for a change of look, call up nim sood (the stylist for ALL balaji soaps).

A common measure of a vamp's style statement is the market's emmulation of the accessories and clothes. Ex: The Ramola ring, The Komolika blouse, etc.

Sanskaari Kanya = Pastels, chiffons, churidaars, bangles, subtel embroidery, the person chosen for this role must exude sankaars and benevolence, else all the accessorising etc is futile. Must nowear chhichhora mini skirts and backless salwar kameezes.

The Buzurgs = Must never look a day older than the kiddies, also over accessorised, certainly shud not dress for comfort. Must wear elaborate saris to bed. Kyunki nighty pehnna humare sanskaaron mein nahi, hehehehe.

Sanskari Ladka = Simple clean cuts, must be handsome, must look earnest and mehnati. Anything goes on these creatures. No accessories please. Those are for the non-sanskaari brigade.

Miscellaneous Must-haves
Mangal sutra, sindoor, glycerine, mentions of 500 crore projects and profits - lakh do lakh to
chillad hai boss, plastic surgery, staying alive n reappearing on the soap after being declared
dead by a doc, more sanskaars, insaaf, pehla pyaar, thappads, badla, saazish, saas-bahu, comic relief, a minimum of 3 shaadis and 6 kids from  diff spouses, revelations,
and what not.

Integration
The above techniques may prove to be ineffectual in isolation and need to be brought together for the right effect. For example leery eyes - villainous music - rapid to and fro movement and snazzy-gawdy-out-of-place-at-home clothes, is a good combination.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

Random Stuff . . .

2007-04-26T22:43:00.000+05:30

FUNNY TEE SLOGAN

I am the kind of guy you will ultimately go home with by the end of the
day, so u might as well give me a shot now.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

One little person, giving all of her time to peace, makes news. Many people,
giving some of their time, can make history.

~ Anonymous

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

2007-04-23T22:25:00.000+05:30

A certain lady in my office sends a 'thought of the day' to all employees, some of em are really nice, here's one:

But goodness alone is never enough. A hard cold wisdom is required, too, for
goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom invariably accomplishes
evil.

~ Robert Heinlein

It's JUST not the SAME

2007-04-21T20:51:00.000+05:30

I tried to read an archie comic on the web for the first time, it was no
fun. In this day and age of ebooks, ereaders, and what have you, the joy
of curling up with a great book seems to be evaporating. AND I HATE IT.

Who in their right mind, would want to read an entire book gawking at the
computer. I for one, just dont feel connected to it. The same is true for
letters, for they can actually be kissed and hugged and taken to the
garden. You can also see the person's writing and find out if they were excited of in a rush or just plain sleepy. You can take the email to the garden if u have a laptop but then again,ITS NOT THE SAME.

I am all for saving paper and the environment, but reading an actual book
with real pages is a joy I cant give up. So ebooks and ereaders and palm
pilots can come and go, but nothing replaces the true joy of lying in bed
with a fab book and reading it in leisure, thereby establishing a real 3d
relationship with the book.

To conclude, I would like to quote Paulo Coelho:
You can have at your disposal all the means of communication in the world, but nothing, absolutely nothing can replace looking someone in the eye.

Dear God

2007-04-19T22:54:00.000+05:30

Dear God,

Please please please don't give me a double chin ever! PLEASE!!!!

Love,
Hansa

I'm Nobody! Who are you?

2007-04-19T22:49:00.000+05:30

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you -- Nobody -- Too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise -- you know!

How dreary -- to be -- Somebody!
How public -- like a Frog --
To tell one's name -- the livelong June --
To an admiring Bog!

- Emily Dickinson

Drifted Apart . . .

2007-04-13T23:42:00.000+05:30

I shall now reproduce a poem which I wrote ages ago (sometime in 2001). This plain truth of life, that people move on, was something I acknowledged a long time ago, but then everytime it stares at me in the face, I seem to go weak. Another friend, another love, another friendship, is sure to come, for such is the cycle of life. After every winter there is bound to be a spring. Here goes nothing:

Like fragments of a glacier, on a bed of sea,
We drifted apart, as apart can be.

I miss the times that we had shared,
Before the painful seperation we beared.

What a torture it was to see you depart,
But I still do have hope in my heart.

Lost in my world, I dream of you,
I wonder if you think of me too.

Inspiration: How friends turn people and people metamorphose into friends. How time makes people drift apart, and equally well heals. How friendships get limited to Hi, Hello & Bye.

What NOT to name your Kid!

2007-04-11T22:42:00.000+05:30

Aina Andriamanjatoarimanana

This name belongs to an olympics athlete. And YES, This is actually a name! This beats Haathiramani for a surname. LOL

Work Week 3 (Too long, Dont read)

2007-04-07T23:49:00.000+05:30

Professionally Unstable
You know how some people are mentally unstable, I am professionally unstable. And there is ample evidence for me 2 believe otherwise. It bodes well for me datI have
accepted this fact. I now know that no matter what job i take up or want, there are
always going to be a lot of unsettling things, such as:

Delayed responses to better job applications.

I am a professional rolling stone, or so I believe I am percieved to be.

Job offers will pour in wen i don't intend to, or am unable to work, and they are usually the best.

The moment i take up a job, some other better org will knock on my door to confuse me to no end.

I have never been able to stick anywhere!

Betrayed
Sigh. I was tranferred, rather lent to another deptt for a month. Needless to say I felt betrayed. Not worthy enough to be on the TSPL team. This is also a part of why I feel professionaly unstable. Just when I begin to get comfy in any environment, my world is rocked! I really wanted to ask me boss - why oh why r u sending me away
:( am i not good enough for TSPL or am i good enough to represent it?

Chaos n' More
The whole lending for a month thing was carried out in such a chaotic manner dat it ended up being abso-funny. For starters, hardly anybody bothered to inform me right away. The HR folks were not aware and nobody asked me if I even wanted to do such a thing! My super told me only when I asked him for the next assignment after meeting a bitchy deadline.

The next day when I walked in uncertainly towards my workstation, I noticed that my CPU had vanished! Then I spoke to my office mommies (The HR folks, I go to them for every query!) They said that I would be doing stuff for another website but I will continue to sit on the 3rd floor. Ok, will do. As long as I dont have to move. But then some IT guy came telling me that my CPU has been shifted to me new work station, I baffled him saying that I have to sit here. My moment of peace was ruined when a perky sardard came to escort me to the third floor.

Seeing the chaos my boss walked up to us and told me that "dont worry, am not going to let go of you, u will be back in a month" and he said the same to d perky sardard adding that he's marking the date :)

How CUTE!

Doosri Manzil
Hmmm, once I reached the cursed destination, I was shown a workstation which I thought was pretty cool. I was also introduced to someone I was supposed to collaborate with, but little did I know. She started teaching me a program I knew zilch abt. I found it so weird technical n complex that I felt like crying, after an earnest attempt to figure out the thingamajig, I msgd my boss and quick came the reply. He was going to come and sort things out.

A little while later I learnt from the chick teaching me that the sardard had told her that I was an HTML programmer, of all the things! Then I could wait no longer and wen up to my real boss and told him what the headache thought! Chaos, laughs and a lot of apologies from almost all of the management followed soon after. The way my boss stood up for me and told the entire management of the sardard's goof up was amazing, to say the least. Can't wait to be beack on the TSPL team.

The Royal Sardard
What do I say about him. He talks to himself, laughs at his own jokes and is adamant to the core that 'stadia' is a word for 'stadium'!

The Last Word
Lesson learnt: If your job does not make you cry, it is not a job. Lol. I hope this one month passes by in a snap (now that's wishful thinking for ya).

A Dollop of Wisdom

2007-04-05T22:48:00.000+05:30

Have love; Not love alone for one,
But man, as man thy brother call,
And scatter like the circling Sun,
Thy charities on all.

- Schiller

If you treat an individual as he is,
He will remain as he is. But if you treat him
As if he were what he ought to be and could be,
He will become what he ought to be and could be.

- Goethe

Love is a feeling that lifts us
To our feet and provides us with
Wings to fly.

- Hansa

Love is not what we become,
But what we already are.

- Stephen Levine

This is the true measure of love,
When we believe that we alone can love,
That no one could have loved so before us,
And that no one will ever love
In the same way after us.

- Goethe

Death . . . Such an easy thing to say,
Such a hard thing to face.

- Hansa

Live so, that when your children
Think of fairness, caring & integrity,
They think of you.

- Anonymous

Enjoy marketing at Glenferrie Road!

2007-04-03T21:04:00.000+05:30

This was how the conclusion/ sign-off for an article abt shopping in Melbourne read. It had me in splits. Sadly, there was no one to share it with. LOL!

English still remains to us the coloniser's language and we, the people Indianise it without even knowing that we are doing so. It is indeed amusing to hear and read technically unsound (if there is such a word as unsound) English from so many people who innocently think they are saying it right.

Some such funny and commonly understood (but not accepted) phrases:

I was here only.
I didn't knew only. If I had knewed I would not have done anything.
Myself Pratap Srivastava. I am done my graduation from B. Com.
The dish is been cooked. I make a great foods.
I am having one computer on my house.
His hairs needed a shampooing.
I like clothes according to winter season.

Work Week 2

2007-04-01T00:03:00.000+05:30

Getting more used to things, falling in love all over again wid sleep and coming to hate a computer gawking job and desirous of goin to kolkata only to slap d moronic writers in the branch, imagine writng abt cattle feed in an article abt a fine dining restaurant! All this and more was part of work week 2.

Deadly Lines!
We are under-staffed as far as the editorial team is concerned and I have no qualms abt saying it out loud even to the CEO (am lucky to have a caring boss as him, and cute too) and if they don't bother hiring more ppl for d job or having a workshop wid d blasted writers, then i have no qualms abt taking an off or leaving dot at 6 pm.

Colleagues
Ok, so the girlies are ok. They even invited me to join em for lunch after dat new joinee ditched me to have lunch with sum other gal. Thankfully, they r editors too, so there is tons to discuss
and bitch about.

Mr dimples sniggers at me, maybe coz of the way I look. $%#@!$$%#$%!@#Apparently he's a star performer, the CEO walks up to him frequently and the MD also did the same and greeted him heartily. Nonetheless he is a girl gawker and stil makes weird expressions at some of em. It wud do the dude a great deal of good if he tried some colours. Black n White, dats all he's abt!

Mr arrogant goes by the name of vivek if am not wrong. He seems better behaved. Dresses well too. It bodes well for me dat I am not trying to please anyone here. Just interested in working.

These guys really believe in solidarity and unity. They are organising a cricket match soon in which various firms under the company wud battle it out.

That meansI get 2 sit at home. Yay!

Serenity

2007-03-31T19:52:00.000+05:30

Being an only child in a family of three leaves one ample time to ponder, write , read and think deeply from a very young age.(Or maybe I was plain spiritual/philosophical since childhood. Hehehe)

Anyhow, I used to maintain a diary in which I constantly wrote thoughts that struck a chord with me. I also wrote self-composed poems in it, which were mostly pathetic (clearly am no poet). Today, years later, when the art of writing diaries and journals has been swept over by blogging and what have you, I still refer to it time and again. Not only does it renew hope, it brings me a sense of serenity. I shall write some of my favourites, and also lament the loss of a book of poetry I treasured...

Life is a journey on a train,
With two fellow passengers on each window pane,
I may sit beside you, all the journey through,
Or I may sit elsewhere, never knowing you,
But should fate mark us, to sit side by side,
Let's be pleasant travelers, tis' so short a ride.

- Subhash C. Sethi

Does God need your offerings to be able to eat and dress?
Give instead to the poor.

God is in heaven, but his idols are made
by men with petty ambitions.

- Jesus Christ

Love is a fruit in season at all times,
and within reach of every hand.

- Mother Teressa

Love is the extremely difficult realization
that something other than oneself is real.

- Iris Murdoch

Each friend represents a world in us,
A world posibly not born until they arrive,
And it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

- Anais Nin

One kind word can warm three winter months.

- Japanese Proverb

It's such a secret place, the land of tears.

- Antoine de Saint - Exupery

Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love,
Is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things
In life, and love should not be one of them.

- Anonymous

Phew, that's all for now. Serenity - The Sequel will come soon.

We are the World

2007-03-28T23:15:00.000+05:30

I cannot explain what I felt when I first heard this song, many many years ago.
Today, it still manages to give me gooseflesh. A song of hope, faith and an earnest plea to selfish humanity, the song is all this, and much more.

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus] We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus] We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus] We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

(Probably one of the better things Michael Jackson did with his life. Kudos!)

The week that was

2007-03-25T17:58:00.000+05:30

Hmm... Where do I begin?
The week started with butterflies in my stomach, and ended with  stars in my eyes. This was the week I started working after a hiatus of seven long, painful and  anguishing months. Not only was this my first week at a new job, it was the first week of my first real job!  And what a week  it has been:

Monday Blues
Monday was supposed to be my last day at home as an unemployed person. Hehehe. Jittery, nervous, doubtful, hyper. I was all this and more. Slept weird.

Swagatam Shubh Swagatam
I chose to go there finally, so what if it is not the start I wanted for my career. Truth is, you gotta start somewhere. The day was exceptionally tiring, we were in for a grand grand welcome (no there was no tika or puja to welcome us). The orientation included a tour of the workplace, meeting a few pertinent people, a brief narration of the company profile, filing up forms and getting certificates etc verified. The highlight of the day was being able to climb 2 floors at once. A first since the accident. :)

Among the new joinees, there were 7 guys and 3 girls, one guy was sumwhat cute but sadly, he was transfered to the gurgaon branch. There were times during the orientation when we were made to wait in the conf room and I started sketching to avoid boredom. I was sketching a girl's face and the cute guy was sitting across the table. A pesky joinee then told him that I was sketching him. EMBARASSING!

Mother's Day
In march? Yes. Mothers fall ill too. On Wednesday I was not only petrified but also angry. My workstation had not been finalised, I was jumping from one desk to the other for the first half of the day. In the second half I edited some of the worst writing i have ever laid my eyes on. I came home to find that mommy had  been advised rest and cannot   move   her  right arm.
Our maid was nowhere to be seen. The next few days went on like this, with me juggling  office work, attending meetings and coming home to housework, besides dealing with my foot (climbing two floors was not a good idea after  all)Mommy wore an agonised expression all day, and I hated every bit of it. I can bear almost anything in the world but to see her like this, helpless and hurting :(

Prison Break
I like my workplace. I also like what I get to do there. BUT I HATE THEIR CELL PHONE AND INTERNET POLICY! Why oh why can i not use gtalk or keep my own cellphone with me! Not that I love chattering away the working hours, but it's not particularly thrilling to be inaccessbile for 8 n half hours! Anyways, seems I can get used to it. Besides, everybody here seems to be a chatter box. There is also an internal chat server. That is kind of fun, one needs human contact of some sort. Hehehe. I made a breakthrough on friday though, logged on 2 gtalk via meebo, but not a soul was online.

Office Duds n Dames
Sadly, I have been seated with programmers and I don't even have an LCD. The guy next to me seems weird and married. The girl next to him, seems my age, but doesn't talk much. Simply because there is nothing to talk about.
Then there is  the  gawker  who sits  a few seats ahead  across the aisle. He just can't seem to get the smug smile off his face or stop gawking at ze girlies. Maybe he is trying to devise a means of communicating wid bizzare facial expressions. Fab dimples though.  There is  also Mr. Confident, what a strut, but with an air of arrogance. These  folks don't seem  particularly friendly to newbies, everybody  has  a  clique. Gets boring at lunch. Couldn't care less at other times.

Corporate
This experience is quite different from what I have witnessed so  far (work-wise)There's a healthy mix of male & female colleagues, everybody is punctual (coz there are actual cash awards for it! talk about motivation!) There is a lot of international stuff happening. International projects, clients and it was only my 4th day at work when my official mailbox was flooded with messages from various employees and team heads celebrating the finalisation of a branch in Bangkok. Cool!

Regrets
Come to think of it, there aren't any. It's surely not my dream job or a dream start. Far from it. But I am just 22 and the world is my oyster :)
Do I miss staying at home? Not at all, surprisingly. The  timings are cool, conveyance is  simply not a  problem, courtesy  papa.  However, mom's illness is ill-timed, but then again, when are diseases well-timed? And of course, I do miss my time with my grandpa :)

All's Well, that Ends Well
The week ended well, with a diagnosis of mom's illness. It's not osteo-arthritis as I thought.  And I won't have to exert myself much coz domestic help has been arranged. Both me n mommy will get the rest we should. I am beaming :)

Spiritually Materialistic

2007-03-25T17:51:00.000+05:30

O-ZONE
The Devil wears Prada when God is not in Gucci

Who says you need to give up your designer tags and exotic lifestyle in order to pursue happiness or spirituality? As all metrospirituals will vouch, you can find God within your Gucci togs if you only look inwards! It’s when you start doing things divorced from normal life that the Devil takes over… by VINITA DAWRA NANGIA

WHY does the movie The Pursuit of Happyness spell happiness with “y” and not “i”? Maybe it was a quirk of the film director to create intrigue. Or, perhaps there was a deeper meaning there. The Times of India edit page recently reduced all capital “I”s into small “i”s – a step possibly towards keeping the ego in check. Could the removal of this pesky letter from “happyness” be for the same reason? Because you can be happy only when you remove the “I” or ego! And now, our new column, God in Gucci (right) invites people who seek their own brand of spiritualism, to write about inward journeys that helped them reduce or remove their “I”s.

What did these journeys involve? What kind of experiences did these metrospirituals undergo? Did they have to give up Gucci to attain God? How did they resolve the conflict between materialism and spirituality? Did they forgo the pursuit of happyness?

Those who have been there and done that, point out that the paradox is in the word “pursuit”! How can you pursue a state of being like happiness or spirituality? You just can be happy; you can’t go looking for it. Like Will Smith says in the movie, “Maybe that’s all there is to happiness, just the pursuit!” Similarly, you can just be spiritual; you can’t go seeking spirituality! For, what you seek is not without, but within you. The paradox seems to be that we insist on having all our material comforts as well as a state of bliss and spiritual equanimity! Can this conflict be resolved? Most gurus say it can. The answer surprisingly is – indulge! For, it’s a happy, satisfied mind that can be meditative and spiritual – not the other way round. The trick is in being YOU, not trying to become something else.

A friend recently said, “Everybody looks at the world, eyes wide open. Have you ever tried looking at it with eyes closed?” Everyone hears with ears open. Have you ever tried to listen with your ears closed? To the silence within? That’s where you will find God – He is with you, you don’t have to seek Him in a temple, you don’t have to indulge in any religiousness to achieve Him; you don’t have to destroy any temple or mosque to prove your devotion.

One of the quickest ways of taking anyone away from God or spirituality is to assign templates and rules, rights and wrongs. Take off your footwear; cover your head; T-shirts and necklaces with religious symbols are fine, but when Roberto Cavalli designs a line of innerwear with images of Ram, his bikini bottoms raise the top off the lid! Who is to say you cannot wear your God where you want to? Why is it acceptable to hold Him in the deepest recesses of your heart, but taboo to wear Him intimately next to your skin?

Why can’t you be wearing a Cavalli bikini and still be deeply religious? What stops you from being sexy as well as religious; materialistic as well as spiritual; happy as well as sad? Why must one state preclude the other?

The very idea of one of these states with the complete exclusion of the other seems totally unrealistic. These are not contradictions, but complementary activities. You can’t put life on a pause and go off in pursuit of happiness or even spirituality outside the realm of daily concerns, as a kind of separate activity.

Spiritualism is all about finding God when you are in your Gucci. You may see him in a bar, in a pub, on the road, in your garden…The idea behind this column is to be comfortable with your own notion of spiritualism. This is the genesis of the concept of God in Gucci.

vinita.nangia@timesgroup.com

My comments: Totally agree with the lady. One can be spiritual and materialistic, note that there is a difference between materialistic and greedy or self-absorbed. The trick lies in striking a balance, without indulging in some kind of whimsical hedonism.

The much-married Adam

2007-03-25T17:33:00.000+05:30

For a very long time, TimesLife! has been bringing out great articlesevery sunday. The write-ups are witty and on diverse themes. Kudos to the team for thinking out of the box.

Here is a good one by Suhel Seth:

MAN POWER by SUHEL SETH

The much-married Adam!

IN today’s hurly-burly (and this has no reference to some British leggy who got married twice within seven days) of weddings, have you noticed how the man is conveniently left out? In the good old days, men were consulted as to who they wished to marry; how they wanted to get married; where they wished to honeymoon and so on, but in today’s troubled gender-equality times, all of this has been thrown out of the window. Men are like test-tubes: experiment and wash. Simple. The man must protest. He must demand his rightful place under the sun.

The Indian wedding is guiltier of discrimination than any other type. In a research I conducted many years ago, called the MALE ANGUISH study (administered by a feminist research organisation in this country just to get the balance right), the critical factor for male anguish was Marriage, followed by the Type of marriage, which in simple English means, that most men were anguished they were married and their second reason for anguish was the manner in which they got married! Upon further probing, the following factors emerged:

Most men were going through post-marital early depression: The cycle has now shrunk. In 1997, most men exhibited marital fatigue after three years of conjugal harmony; this has now shrunk to about 14 days. So, we now have fortnightly assessments of marital health. which is defined as that period where the man and woman don’t fight or abuse each other’s parentage and/or talk to each other while dining in public places.
Most men confessed to suffering acute torment and/or insult during the marriage process: Some complained that they were forced to wear designer clothing on bodies that were as Gothic as the columns of Victoria Memorial; others were told that the girl’s side put enormous pressure on their grooming skills, and some men had to, for the first time in their lives, experience metrosexual acts such as facials and pedicures.
Most men experienced a rare bout of amnesia post-marriage, and this began to affect their work: We discovered this amnesia was forced upon them by their wives. Men were expected to remember the birthdays, death anniversaries, wedding anniversaries of their in-laws and the extended family, which many a time included domestic help. Men complained that given the limited memory storage gigabytes in their head, this was forcing them to forget important things such as where they worked; and who their boss was. This resulted in about 93 per cent men not getting promoted post-marriage for at least the first five years, causing a loss of income and respect.
Most men said that marriage did nothing for them in terms of societal acceptance: Single women would stay away as they were married and the married women, who they used to earlier flirt with, began questioning their income and status now that it was all divided between husband and wife, resulting in further erosion of the attraction index (a measure of how men consider themselves in terms of brand worthiness).
Most men also noticed an increase in their ADD (attention deficit disorders) levels: They stopped responding to female voices as almost all the voices sounded alarmingly similar to that of their wives. However, most men continued to respond harmoniously to their mothers. This is a good signal for mankind as the mother is the invention of modern man.

Finally, our research firmly concluded that marriage was an effective pause in the lifecycle of men. In the days gone by, it was an encouragement for men to start families and create legacies, but given the advances that IVF and adoption have made today and the track-record that Angelina Jolie has established (of being the international baby adopter), men say that the rules of engagement have substantially changed which minimise the need for marriage. In a way, the research arrived at what I have always believed.

Men are like the proverbial Adam and would prefer the sinful apple to a healthy marriage. Thankfully, nothing dramatic has happened except that men, given gender equality, have been able to articulate their woes in a more refined manner (such as through columns like this), so that the larger universe can both empathise with them and share their enduring plight!

(Suhel Seth is the managing parner of Counslage India and a happy bachelor)

My Comments: LOL, a thoroughly amusing read, though written with a slightly female-bashing attitude. The Jolie bit had me in splits!